That moment when you are frustrated with someone because they lack a certain quality you hold or believe to be valuable. A little bit of judgement kicks in (a teeny tiny bit) and you notice yourself either trying to pull it out of them or pulling yourself out of the situation because you are over their inability to (be able to) __blank__.
I mean to think! People be unresponsive to your attempt at bringing out this magnificent quality within them which you’ve noticed they don’t wear openly! Yeah! Well that kind of ego issue is one that can easily be controlled. Maybe not solved, but you know me, awareness is what will bring around the change you want to see in yourself.
I want to go a little deeper into this idea. Feeling like people don’t challenge you and then taking the reigns to challenge them in a self-proven sort of way is probably a sign that you lack the ability to be content. Or that you crave attention. Huh?
Well if you are trying to be challenged by everyone you interact with you are asking that all the attention be put on you, indirectly, because you are seeking growth for yourself. Now obviously you want to learn and adapt and mature, but it’s because you are thinking about yourself. <-Attention
Now, when you in turn start challenging them you recognize that maybe they aren’t going to fulfill your wisdom fix, but that doesn’t make it much better if you are doing it out of frustration. And since they couldn’t fulfill you, you end up coaching them towards an idea you already understand and may become frustrated because they are not like minded and can’t just let the situation be what it is you keep persisting in hopes of them adopting your point of view. <-Discontent
…anyone?
I think that all of these things are ok, I mean teaching and learning! Both things I love, but when is it narcissistic-esque, competition with yourself to prove something (to yourself) (ATTENTION), thriving off the future and never really appreciating the present, or fear? When you begin to challenge something and it frustrates you it could be a little of my mirrored aggression I’ve talked about before (attention) or it could be a type of fear.
When I speak about being present and the inability, coming from fear….I say fear because it’s always uncomfortable to sit still. To appreciate people, places, and things for what they are at that very moment. We are always trying to better this, better that, but being clear about where you are right now is a huge accomplishment on its own and allows for a great sense of fulfillment moving forward.
Challenging people’s approach to thought and characteristics could stem from fear because it could be…
-You’re afraid of becoming stagnate yourself
-You’re afraid talking to people of your same caliber will come off as boring
-You’re afraid that you won’t live up to the standard coming from the people in your particular interest
(Or maybe none of these, but just a thought)
Well, if it’s not a fear based glass of Ego it could be attention based.. You might remember this.
If you notice you when you debate someone who doesn’t think like you and they go Aha! first and you feel this warm satisfaction, you are dealing with an attention based concoction that thrives off of being able to persuade others of your point. The only thing is, you know people who are different from you are going to appreciate your point of view (at least for a time) because its new.
What happens when they stop appreciating it, because
1. It’s not their way
and
2. They kind of get it, but are not trying to adopt your style?!
Oh Man! I can imagine a person with a glass of Ego would be a little frustrated that they’re not adopting their point of you and how dare they not agree 100%.. it’s flawless, makes so much sense, and yada yada… Yup. That’s a little bit of an issue.
So how do you bridge the gap between appreciation and challenge? How do you share your opinions without being overly critical of others?
I think its simpler than we imagine. I think it’s starts with being secure where you are and with who you are. If you don’t feel comfortable with yourself and what you know and are willing to adopt you could fall into defensive mode and start challenging whoever!
Being confident with who you are as an individual will make every interaction you have a more rewarding and enjoyable one because everyone is in equal standing.
You can compliment the things you like about people,
disagree respectfully,
cleverly challenge ideas in a fun way,
and become a great listener.
Think of the opportunities that await, when you can put your ego down and stand on your feet without being in an emotionally drunken stupor (so to speak). The strength you’d exude and presence you will have will be noticed more than you being so into yourself or afraid to look stupid that you take yourself too seriously and can’t have a good time with all the awesome people there are in the world.
Ego responsibly.
Have you noticed when your ego shows up? Have you recognized why?
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