t’s easy to think and feel like you love yourself, but I’ll bet that there are some hints to the fact that you don’t. I know I’ve been reading my own hints and now, I’m on the road to self love lane! The biggest hint that I’ve noticed is the craving of attention.. I’m sure this struck a chord with someone because it sure did with me when I connected the two.
Now I’m not necessarily talking about the showboats that love being the center of attention in crowds, I’m sure there are some insecurities there too, but I’m talking about the more subtle forms. The ones that aren’t always obvious unless you point it out with a friend or are looking for it…. Let’s say you’re independent but still seem to always have someone in your little black book you could call when you don’t feel so great or need a pick me up..you know 😉 ..well this is one sign of being an attention addict.
I think the types of attention you can crave could be different like the one above or maybe craving attention from a teacher or a family member or coworkers.. the list could go on.. but ultimately this is a sign that you probably don’t fully love yourself.
Why? because in all of these cases, what you’re looking for is a sense of validation or a pat on the back so you can feel good about yourself. You want someone to appreciate your presence, your work, your character, YOU! While there is nothing wrong with wanting to feel appreciated, when you get carried away to the point that you can’t supply yourself with the appreciation or love and feel satisfied, we have an issue.
Loving yourself isn’t always doing things for yourself (that’s advice for people who are caretakers of others to the point they neglect themselves)
This type is more specific to those who look to outside people/situations to fill themselves. Whether it’s an ego boost based on an idea you dished or an ego boost because someone thinks you’re so great. It’s the same! You’re fishing.. even if unnoticed by outsiders.
This also means that maybe being alone with yourself in all your laziness/productivity, boredom/excitement, messy/cleanliness causes ‘Dr. Critical You’ to start to badger yourself about your weaknesses. Especially if your in the middle of some mild-major crisis.
I mean it makes sense doesn’t it?! We know ourselves better than anyone! We know every bad-good thought, action, everything! Of course we’d be critical and start to loose our appreciation for ourselves! It’s insane that being inside of ourselves turns us into that parent/teacher/coach/lover that seemed to always pick on us! We are them! ugh.. but good news is we don’t have to be.
So now that being an addict for attention alerts us that we are possibly not loving ourselves… there are a couple of things I’ve found to do that help upon alert…
1. Think about what (little black book person) would say to you if you called.. about you, what you’ve accomplished.. Now tell yourself those things!
2. When you feel the craving/hunger for attention. Congratulate yourself on who you are, what you’ve done, your mind, your heart..everything you’ve accomplished up to this point. Be grateful for yourself.
3. When you are fighting the need to get attention from someone. Stop, Breathe, Think.. think about how silly it is to live off of someone else’s opinion to the point that it changes how you feel about yourself, because if you can let positive’s effect you, IDK what negatives could do…
Also, think about how you’re abusing a relationship that isn’t really going to work because you only use them as medicine!
4. Always always remember to talk to yourself! It sounds silly, but hearing yourself say, “I’m great! I’m pretty! I’m diligent! I’m a hardworker!” really helps you feel more confident.
Once you spend this time with yourself, you will enjoy being around yourself more and more. To the point that you will look forward to alone time because you know you will feed all the wonderful interests you have and all the wonderful things that make you you!
Oh right and 5. stop comparing!
The last thing we need to think about is whether or not we are as good as person z because person z has none of the experiences and qualities that make you. So they are incomparable to you.
I’m sure this all can sound cliche, but I mean how often do we find ourselves comparing and things? All too often at one point in my life.
But admiring is healthy, comparing is infectious.
SO next time you feel like someone else can give you some gratifying message, realize that you can do it for yourself! You will attract better things and people into your life when you are soaring through life on the wings of confidence and self love!
Have you noticed your attention craving habits? Do you think you could love yourself more?
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